He's dead, Jim.
Slick-talker Johnny Walker gentleman gin,
He's dead.
My friend from the beginning,
Just like we'd known each other forever
He made everything better
Made my mother finally just
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
But now,
He's dead, Jim,
A penny for the old guy.
He's dead, Jim,
But he listened when I said,
I cannot be ugly
And I cannot be queer
Look at me on the tightwire between denial and self-destruction,
Anybody'd need a drink
If this was what they did all day,
But now
He's dead, Jim,
And the circus has left town.
He's dead, Jim,
But there was a time when I loved him
And would have done anything just to be with him
Johnny Angel,
How I love him
And I'm hopin' someday he'll love me...
What of it,
If he took me places no lady should be,
White faced and bloody kneed?
What of it,
If he kept trying to throw me out of the car at the asylum, the penitentiary, the morgue?
What of it,
If he left me alone and not knowing my own name
Passed out on the rolling lawns at dawn?
It's a fine and private place.
He's dead, Jim,
But I can still feel his embrace.
He's dead, Jim,
Now I have new friends,
Coffee, books, and my own thoughts.
I have raised a child without him
And I hope,
Done some good in the world.
Even though the grave stays fresh,
He's dead, Jim,
Lo these twenty-three years.
He's dead, Jim,
But now I know
There will never be enough love
Enough chocolate
Enough sex
Enough anything
To make the longing that started it go away.
I don't believe
In cures
In congregations
Or in Yoko and me
That's not reality
But I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity
And I am grateful for every grace that's given,
Because
He's not dead, Jim,
Only
Waiting...
_________
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